I think its fair to say at some point in life, we all wonder what our obituaries will say. Were we successful? Were we kind? Did we lead a life worth remembering? For one New York State man, the answer to the first two are hard noes, but he may be remembered most for his viral obituary.

Published in the Florida Times Union, the son of Belmont, NY-native Lawrence Pfaff pulls no punches in a scathing send-off for his abusive, philandering father. To start, Lawrence “passed away on June 27, 2022, living a long life, much longer than he deserved.” Think that’s wild? Buckle up.

"A Father To Many, A Dad To None"


After a very strong opening, the obituary goes on to describe Pfaff’s family life.

“He is survived by his three children, no four. Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more. His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited.”

In case you haven’t caught on yet, Lawrence was not a nice guy. His son goes on to say the alcoholic Pfaff’s “hobbies included abusing his first wife and children,” and that “he possesses no redeeming qualities for his children, including the ones he knew, and the ‘ones he knew about.’”


He also, “loved to start projects but never followed through on any of them.” Maybe by this point you’re wondering what this guy did for a living. Let’s take a look:

“Lawrence, Sr. did spend over 20 years in the NYPD, but even his time in service was negligent at best. Because of his alcohol addiction, his Commanding Officer took away his gun and badge, replacing them with a broom until he could get his act together.”

As with any great piece of writing, Lawrence’s son ends the obituary on a grand finale paragraph that truly takes your breath away.

“It will be challenging to miss Lawrence, Sr. because he was narcissistic. He was incapable of love. Lawrence, Sr.'s passing proves that evil does eventually die, and it marks a time of healing, which will allow his children to get the closure they deserve. Lawrence, Sr. can be remembered for being a father to many, and a dad to none.”

Now that he’s gone, hopefully his family can finally rest in peace.

13 Hilarious Bad Reviews of New York State Parks

Have these people ever camped before?

Gallery Credit: Will Phillips

The 12 Weirdest Reality Shows Of All Time

Reality TV has given us some very strange series through the years — and these 12 are the strangest we’ve ever seen.

More From Zoey 103.9